A dark-coated figure with a pale mane stood in the middle of a crater in the woods. In terms of body size and shape, any other pony would assume it was a pegasus, an adult, albeit closer to the size of a filly than a mare. However, the imposing crimson armor, the gigantic wingspan, and the deadly lance clasped in her teeth indicated that this pony was anything but ordinary.

It didn't seem like the mare noticed the adventuring party at the edge of the crater — or, perhaps, she wasn't in the right mind to notice them. As far as Argent Silver could tell, the mare's glowing crimson eyes were open, but seemed to stare into nothing. As though she wasn't… activated, in a sense.

Well. She won't turn down ample time to prepare.

"Everypony, halt formation. Looks like another trial…" Argent cast her binocular spell, watching looking at the center of the crater. The main entrance of the Tomb of Nazalot… And, from what she could see of the underground mausoleum, the only entrance. "...One we can't avoid."

Rainmaker grabbed another cloud out of the sparse sky, and Keepaway's horn lit up as he unsheathed his sword and readied his bow. Argent's horn began to glow with a prepared defensive shell spell. The ponies without weapons — Zero Regret, Code Break, and Heartstopper — herded together behind the prepared combatants as they descended the crater's slope.

After the last few trials, Argent Silver decided to at least invest in a general game plan based on their previous encounters. Being caught unaware twice in a row was a low point in her career, certainly. And if she could suss out how to dispense the remaining three Elements, even better.

She could only hope this trial was more of a test of wit or bravery like the first two, and not devastating combat like she presumed Coldcytus's trial was. Two-out-of-three odds wasn't great, but it was a bet she was forced to take.

It was a bet she would lose, as with one more step forward, the mare's attention suddenly shot to Argent, and in a flash, her spear was bearing down on Argent Silver's shield.

"Combat Team, with me! Stall until the civilians get into the Tomb! The rest of you, start galloping!" Argent roared out her orders, gritting her teeth as her shield started cracking under unbelievable pressure.

"Yipe! Code Break, c'mon!"

"I'm going, I'm going!"

Zero Regret and Code Break were first to make a run for it, with Zero Regret picking up the more sedentary rune-coder and hauling her to the Tomb. Argent levitated herself into the air and rained precision artillery spells on the mystery trial pegasus. Blade, arrows, and lightning did their best to keep the pegasus's attention away from the civilians.

"Snipe! Snipe! Snipe!" Keepaway chirped with every arrow shot, weaving his ranged fire with the strikes of his floating sword.

"Do you have to call out all your attack names?" Rainmaker raised an eyebrow, kicking out another lightning bolt.

"Keep my Overlord-damned comms clean!" Argent growled, currently taking the brunt of the trial's attention, the spear just barely missing her barrel by a few inches.

Heartstopper was the more athletic of the two earth ponies, and so volunteered to be the one to dead sprint if things got messy. Admittedly, she was doing a fairly good job of running away, even as she screamed bloody murder while soil exploded around her from each stray bolt and spell.

"Einherjar!"

And then the pegasus cloned itself.

Her original opponent vanished, a flurry of white feathers distracting Argent for a split second. A marble-white copy of the pegasus now faced Argent Silver, with just as much lethality as the real one. Daring to look behind her, the war unicorn paled as she realized the real copy was hot on Heartstopper's tracks.

Trying to disengage from the imitation, Argent now found herself being tailed by a much faster flier, and had to dodge lance strikes from behind. Awful position, but she needed all five civilians alive, damn it! At least she didn't see Zero Regret and Code Break, meaning they probably made it into the Tomb.

The trial pony was quickly gaining on Heartstopper, her shadow almost eclipsing the earth pony's hooves. Argent cursed, starting to lower her altitude in case she needed to drop her levitation for a teleport instead. She hated the accursed feeling, and flying was much more her forte, but it would only be moments before she had a dead friend on her hands.

"Waitwaitwait!"

And then, making Argent's heart stop, Heartstopper ardently started waving her front hooves in surrender, halting in her tracks. Damn it, pony, did you not want to live?!

The pegasus also stopped in complete confusion. Argent would try to pay more attention if there wasn't a nigh-invincible warrior clone trying to skewer her backside currently.

"What's your name?"

"...Whuh?"

"Your name? Y'know, every other guardian has introduced themselves. I figured I'd at least try for a name before you make Heartstop kebab. Oooh, actually, can I guess?"

Argent blanched at the strange interaction. The moment of distraction nearly cost the unicorn her life, if Keepaway's sword didn't parry the clone's lance, and Rainmaker didn't send a powerful gale of wind to blow the clone off-course immediately after. Shaking her head, the unicorn decided it would be listening-only until this damn clone was dead. A shield spell erupted in front of her as the battle continued.

"Is it… Lance Ace? Red Baron? Crimson Cloak?"

"Er…"

"No, no, no! Wait, every other guardian had a weird, cool name. Maybe… Blooddrinker! Spearatron! Pegablaster! Scarletificus! Oooooh!"

"That first one's actually pretty close — wait, you're just distracting me!"

"Well, I mostly wanted to figure out if you were willing to talk, or if you were just some mindless killing machine. Or brainwashed! I bet Being A could brainwash ponies. I'd hate to be brainwashed, mhm. Now, a coma, I could do. It'd be like a long, relaxing nap…"

"What?! How would a coma be better? All your responsibilities! Not to mention losing all your precious people! What, are you just going to abandon them?"

"Nuh-uh, I'd just be asleep. I mean, it'd be kind of creepy, but I'd be fine with them visiting me in bed. Er, I hope it's one of those magical stasis comas, though. I'd hate to have a bedpan, that's gross."

"Still, it wouldn't be you. It would still be abandoning them! You'd still be gone to whatever fantasy land dream you'd want, while everyone who loved you suffered!"

"Ooooh. I get it. Is this the trial of therapy? Well, combat therapy, I guess."

"What?! No! I'm Blood Fallen, of the Tomb of Nazalot! I don't need therapy!"

"Eyyyy. Got your name!"

The fighting ceased. Even the clone stopped attacking, its spearpoint once more bearing down on Argent's shield, while Keepaway's sword paused mid-whapping its armor. Rainmaker looked between Argent and Blood Fallen, concerned.

Blood Fallen barely held back a snicker. Which turned into a chortle, which turned into full-blown maniacal laughter. It was impressive. Rainmaker seemed tempted to make thunder and lightning roar in the distance, it was that impressive. Argent herself had laughed like that a few times, she could understand how cathartic it was.

"...So you did," Blood Fallen sighed, finally coming down from her manic high, "You intrigue me, earth pony. I would add you to my list of concubines, if I still had the power."

"I'm gonna take that as a compliment. And I'm Heartstopper, nice to meet you!"

The two shook hooves, and Argent signaled for the Combat Team to disengage, seeing as the clone had flown over to Blood Fallen, probably to reunite with its maker. Rainmaker and Keepaway shuffled off to the Tomb, with Keepaway making his usual snarky comment about how stupid that entire fight was.

"Heartstopper!" Argent called out, nonplussed, "Once you're done… socializing, the rest of the party will be in the Tomb. Join us when you can."

"Got it! Oh, Fallen, you've gotta tell me how you get such a pretty long mane. It's gotta be the prettiest of all the guardians!"

"Hah! Yes, yes, I suppose it is quite lovely. Much lovelier than that lamprey's. Anyways…"

Dismissing herself from the mare talk, Argent shook her head and galloped off to make sure Zero Regret and Code Break were still alive.

As it turns out, they were. More than that, another member of her party had befriended a guardian.

Argent supposed it wasn't in the cards to actually kill one of these unknown threats. It was a bit disappointing. A horrible loss in both historical resources and working bodies, yes, but she'd faced the fear of death so many times over the last few hours that she felt justified in wanting a bit of blood.

"This is Albedo Soul," Code Break sighed, "of the Tomb of Nazarick, as you can tell. Looks like Being A got here first, so we decided to camp out near the entrance until everyone was here."

The guardian in question was an earth pony — well, it would be more accurate to say earth horse. An absolute clydesdale of a mare, she had a white coat and a long, lustrous black mare. Most peculiarly, bull-like horns protruded from her head, and Argent had half a mind to think she was some sort of mixed breed. She couldn't make out the Cutie Mark on account of the imposing ebony armor on Albedo Soul's hindflanks.

The barrel section of the armor was currently strewn on the floor, as Albedo had a freshly-applied dressing of gauze around her body, a brownish-red stain seeping out of a fresh wound. Likely originating from the glowing, clearly magical sword at Code Break's hooves.

It was a bit crowded near the entrance, especially as Heartstopper returned. Albedo Soul herself seemed to be downright depressed, huddling in on herself against a pillar. Argent raised an eyebrow.

"She seems overwhelmed."

"I figured out that the Tomb of Nazarick used to belong to our Overlord and, presumably, his equals at the time," Code Break explained nonchalantly, her pinprick eyes not betraying any particular emotion, "which was obvious in hindsight. It turns out that Being A put this place into stasis as one last hoorah before being banished."

"Which explains the sudden appearance of the guardians."

"Mm. Albedo here sent Being A on a wild goose chase through the rest of the Tomb, but she knows how to get us to the Elements of Harmony. She was more than willing to help us once I name-dropped our Overlord."

"And pulled out a divine greatsword by sheer willpower alone…" Zero Regret added, a bit of awe still in his voice, "Seriously, that thing was going through her."

"And I am physically the strongest of the guardians, and even I couldn't… dislodge it from myself," Albedo finally spoke, before looking up at Code Break, "How? How did you do it?"

Code Break blinked. And then thought about it, for a little bit. The silence was a bit jarring, considering the circumstances, but oddly peaceful.

"I didn't question if it was possible or not. I just saw somepony who needed help. After all, if the gods can't give you a break," Code Break smiled, "then at least I can."

At that, Albedo groaned in melodramatic misery, putting a hoof over her head. A far cry from her solemn silence only moments before.

"Aaah, if only you weren't married! Such kind words from you, miss Code Break!"

"A-Ah, I'm flattered…"

"Ahem," Argent cleared her throat, pulling attention, "If that's all, then I'd like for us to get to the Elements of Harmony as quickly as possible. We are on an important mission, and if your precious Supreme Equine is to escape from his prison…"

"Of course! At once!"

With that, Argent Silver endured the warping feeling in her stomach as Albedo Soul activated a ring earring, and their adventuring party teleported alongside the final guardian to the final floor of the dungeon: the throne room.

The first thing Argent Silver saw was her Overlord.

No. Not her Overlord. The skeletal stallion was still suspended in crystal in Carneville. Rather, somepony who was currently imitating her Overlord. Some details were missing — the red orb in his stomach was gone, as was his casting staff. The spells he was slinging were lower-level than her Overlord, as well.

But he was clearly holding off Being A, as a maelstrom of power surged around her. It was like teleporting straight into a war zone. The broken body of a golem and the unconscious bodies of six other combatants laid on the ground — a group of maids, it seemed, each of them armed. A strange pink creature seemed to be holding up a magical shield around the unconscious bodies, albeit strained under the sheer force of Being A's power.

"Gargantuan! The Pleiades!" Albedo gasped, moving to rush to their aide — before holding her side in pain.

"Oh, were those their names? A shame. Hello, Elements! I'm afraid your little power crystals are all shattered to dust."

Being A laughed, before her hoof erupted in a searing light, and a divine punch was delivered to the Overlord mimic's head. The disguise stumbled from the impact — and a lanky pony in a yellow military uniform flickered in its place, before resuming the form of their Overlord.

"Herr Albedo, tut mir leid!" The Mimic yelped, casting a lightning spell at the enemy, "Being A has reduced the physical artifacts to pieces! I cannot fight for much longer…"

"And fight you will not!"

Being A's hind hooves flashed with the same divine light from before, and she delivered a powerful buck to the mimic's body, sending him flying into the wall. Once the dust settled, all that remained was a broken heap of a featureless beige-colored unicorn embedded in the architecture. His military cap had fallen onto the ground.

"Hoh hoh hoh. Is that all you useless NPCs have for me? And here I thought everything would go according to your beloved Overlord's ten-thousand year plan. 'Ooooh, as expected of Rhine Allgone!' 'You are as amazing as ever, Rhine Allgone!' 'You're soooo much better than that stupid Axis Order, Rhine Allgone!' As if nopony ever noticed that it was literally an evil undead emperor in front of their stupid muzzles! Seriously, is anypony here genre-savvy at all?!"

Genre-savvy…

Genre…

Books?

Unwilling to break Being A out of her villainous monologue while she was on a roll, Argent Silver hastily opened up the Elementum Harmonia Referendum in her pack. She needed to confirm a suspicion.

ELEMENT OF MAGIC DETECTED: LOCATION UNKNOWN.

ELEMENT OF HONESTY DETECTED: LOCATION UNKNOWN.

ELEMENT OF KINDNESS DETECTED: LOCATION UNKNOWN.

ELEMENT OF LAUGHTER DETECTED: LOCATION UNKNOWN.

ELEMENT OF GENEROSITY DETECTED: LOCATION UNKNOWN.

ELEMENT OF LOYALTY DETECTED: LOCATION UNKNOWN.

Silently packing her book back into her bags, Argent Silver thanked whatever higher beings existed that Being A was exactly the type of idiot to sing her own praises and go on long, whiny tangents about everything she hated. Argent suspected as much after Being A's dramatic reveal, especially since she was personally familiar with this type of personality through her time in the military.

"And now, Rhine Allgone is forever entrapped in crystal! The Tomb of Nazalot is mine! Your precious Elements of Harmony are nowhere to be found, and all the guardians are as good as gone! Equestria shall be the cornerstone of my divine rule, and the glory of my godhood will spread across land and ocean! My blessings shall be upon this world… FOREVER!"

Being A laughed, this time providing her own thunder and lightning. Divine energy erupted from the alicorn, blinding light and searing hot winds almost blowing her entire party off their hooves.

Argent Silver just smirked. For once…

"For once, everything went according to plan."

"What? Are you delusional?" Being A smirked the biggest manure-eating grin this side of Nazalot, "You lost. Go home, already. Game over."

"Your time-stopping ability… it's a tenth-level spell, isn't it?"

"As if I could be held by your puny mortal standards," Being A scoffed, before summoning several floating divine swords behind her, a textbook application of the legendary Gates of Babylon spell, "Any better last words before I kill all of you?"

"Of course. That is to say: I win. "

Suddenly, the broken Elements floated — then shot towards Argent Silver, bypassing the pink creature's shield entirely and soaring past Being A's flabbergasted face. They began to coalesce around her party's necks, before merging in a flash of magic into jeweled necklaces.

"Honesty. Loyalty. Generosity. Laughter. Kindness. They're quite the basic concepts. Indeed, these traits can be found in most creatures, let alone ponies. The idea that these feelings could power a superweapon is absurd. If a family is gunned down in a war, was it because they weren't honest enough? Loyal enough? Kind enough?"

In a panic, Being A roared and fired off her blizzard of swords. Her confidence swelling, Argent Silver casted a party-wide shield spell — and she felt the warm, foreign sensation of comradery flowing through her veins and into her horn. The Elements of Harmony were amplifying her shield, she was certain, especially since Being A's attacks couldn't even dent her defenses.

"No, I realized that in order to fully attune to such a superweapon, these traits needed to work in synchronization. Having a magical foci for such things is lovely, and it seems the Supreme Equines had a neat little failsafe in case the physical Elements are destroyed. But they're not required."

Being A grew more frantic in her attempts at destroying Argent Silver's shield. Dropping her sword summoning spell, the alicorn begun to hammer away at the now-prismatic shield with divine hooves, explosions of light erupting with every impact. Again, not a single effect. Argent was fully grinning, now.

"I simply needed the right wielders to synchronize to. Keepaway, the Element of Honesty, with his brutal opinions and his unfiltered approach to the world. Zero Regret, the Element of Loyalty, with the heart of the most fanatical soldier and the willingness to sacrifice himself for the mission. Rainmaker Tempest, the Element of Generosity, who will always spend their time and effort for those in need, whether in peace or in war."

Being A was actively blabbering in open mortification, now. Not even coherent words, she was just trying every spell in her arsenal on the shield. But the Elements of Harmony weren't having it. It was somewhat poetic: after how many artillery spells, explosive spells, napalm spells, it would be a shield that defeated Argent Silver's greatest enemy thus far?

A shield, and some mind-breaking words for the poor goddess on the other side.

"Heartstopper, the Element of Laughter, who can dismantle the most lethal of battlefields with her good humor and socialization skills. And Code Break, the Element of Kindness, whose mercy touches even those the gods are unwilling to."

Finally, Being A stopped wailing on the shield, realizing that none of her efforts will work. Of course, if she had simply stopped time and killed all six of them, her victory was assured. But tenth level spells could only be cast once a day — even by Rhine Allgone, per his own admission to Argent.

The physical Elements of Harmony had remade themselves in the shape of her party's Cutie Marks. Honesty as an emerald clover. Loyalty as an obsidian zero. Generosity as a sapphire raincloud. Laughter as a turquoise heart. Kindness as a ruby mountain.

"I don't see any Element of Magic, my little pony . You can't beat me!"

"Ah, yes. I mostly assumed the process of elimination would function. But since I am, objectively, the most magically powerful unicorn, not only of this group, but in the entire Equestrian military..."

A warm light erupted from Argent's head, and a silver crown adorned her mane. Sitting as the crown jewel was a diamond in the shape of her own Cutie Mark: A computation orb, which served as the magical foci for aerial mages such as herself, with the cross of the army sitting atop.

Her Cutie Mark was always a reminder of how young she was when she joined the military. She had earned it during training, after all. Argent Silver wore it with pride — and now, it would serve as the final piece of this puzzle.

"...I figured the Element of Magic suited me quite well, either way."

"...No. No! No, no, no, no! I had it! I was winning!"

Finally tired of Being A's incessant, childish whining, Argent Silver's eyes glowed an unholy gold as she and the rest of her party — no, the rest of the Elements — begun levitating from the sheer power of Harmony.

"Oh, my goddess…"

Being A's jaw dropped as a harmonic rainbow wrapped around the six ponies.

Then, the Devil of Rhine grinning terrifyingly at her, the corners of her mouth contorting monstrously.

"...I'll slice you into tiny pieces and feed you to the pigs."

And, channeling a tenth-level artillery spell for the first time in her life, Argent Silver unleashed a nuclear salvo of Harmony and Friendship point-blank at Being A's sorry flank.

The sky erupted in rainbows, happiness, and the pained screams of a former goddess.

"There is no bucking way that worked."

Keepaway deadpanned, as the rainbow began to subside.

Oh, yes, relying on the magic of harmony and hand-holding was absolutely out of Argent's wheelhouse, and she half-suspected to be dead of embarrassment and then divine magic somewhere in there, but she couldn't help but give the green unicorn a rather crass grin.

"Don't you believe in the magic of friendship?"

"Since when were we friends?!"

Keepaway pointed an accusatory hoof at Argent, who simply shrugged.

"Since the laws of the universe dictated we are. I'm not going to argue with forces beyond comprehension."

"As you shouldn't, my dear protégé."

The deep baritone voice of her Overlord echoed through the Tomb's throne room. A rift portal closed from behind him. The skeleton alicorn looked to be in perfect health. His vast presence was a comfort to Argent, his gigantic bony body looming over the present company.

"My Overlord!"

"Er, Mister Overlord! Sir!"

"My Overlord."

"Hi, Rhiny!"

The rest of the group gave Heartstopper a glare for that last one. Honestly, ponies have been banished for less. Argent hoped that the socialite didn't keep committing social faux-pas just because she was the Element of Laughter now.

"Ah, that's a nostalgic old nickname… Congratulations on becoming the Elements of Harmony. It was what I planned all along. I knew the necessary resources would be in Carneville, and so I scheduled this year's Otherworld Day celebration to occur in such a small town," he chuckled, "I doubt you'd like to trek from Belzerg all the way here under Being A's watch."

The thought of such a march elicited a shudder from Argent. She knew how terrible that would be. Thank goodness her Overlord thought so far ahead. The others seemed to be a bit lost, but quickly followed up with a united "as expected!", as was tradition whenever their Overlord would reveal one of his many amazing schemes. It seemed that this tradition dated back centuries, given the remaining guardians in the room also parroted their own "as expected!"s.

"In any case, what to do with Being A… or, rather, Aqua."

He said, looking down at the now-impotent alicorn currently laid out unceremoniously on the floor. She seemed to be snoring, and about thrice as small as before. Still an alicorn, but more the size of a normal pony. And… Aqua? Such a bland name? Perhaps Axis Order was simply a fantasy title she'd imagined for herself in the past thousand years.

"...Banishing her would just cause her to be irksome once more. And loathe as I am to admit it, it's impossible to kill an immortal," their Overlord explained to the crowd, tapping his bony cheek, "...Umu. I know. She'll serve community service at the Adventurer's Guild in Carneville. For as long as I deem it necessary."

"Wait, what? So she's bunking with us? Why?!" Keepaway exclaimed, before gulping, "...Sir."

"Back in the day, she was a decent-enough healer for the Supreme Equines. That's really the only reason we kept her around," their Overlord shrugged, "I'm certain she can fulfill the same capacity, even now that her power is down to mortal levels. Although, she's a bit… of a late bloomer, emotionally and mentally. I'm sure you'll find the good in her."

So she's a whiny moron usually, but the power made her semi-competent for a little bit. Well, that explains the evil monologue.

"In any case, you've done well. I shall summon teleportation portals back to Carneville for you all, and return myself, Major Silver, and Aqua to Nazalot."

"Wait!"

"Umu?"

Albedo called out, before prostrating herself before their Overlord. Her, and… wait, when did the other guardians get here? Marelion, Aurelion, Sebas Magnus, Blood Fallen, even Coldcytus had regained his strength. All of them knelt before the skeleton alicorn, heads to the floor.

"Please, take us with you! You are the last Supreme Equine left. We are yours, forevermore!"

"Albedo Soul… I remember all of you. Blood Fallen, you were Pierrot Raunchy Noir's pride and joy… Sebas Magnus, you have Lord Touching's justice written all over you…"

"Our Overlord!"

About half of them burst into waterworks, and Argent Silver shuffled her hooves, feeling awkward. It wouldn't do to be insensitive, especially as their Overlord was openly reminiscing about his friends lost to time, but to have such deadly, intimidating enemies suddenly act like abandoned infants was unnerving, to say the least.

"Very well. I believe a change in administration is in order. Especially with the amount of recommendations that Major Silver has provided me over the years."

Argent Silver puffed up her chest proudly as their Overlord's glowing scarlet eyes regarded her. Those recommendations, in question, were very strongly worded letters about the incompetence and absolute buffoonery she'd seen among the top brass of the Equestrian military. She was happy they were finally being addressed.

"With Being A finally disposed of, we can begin the later stages of demilitarization. My guardians, I shall see to it that you will be a part of this process. As for you, Argent Silver…"

Well, here it was. After years of hard work and horrible conditions, she would be awarded a living wage for her remaining years, as well as medals of honor to go with her honorable discharge. After all, he just mentioned demilitarization. She was finally going to enjoy the cushy life of the safe rear lines!

"...Now that you're the Element of Magic, I'll be stationing you here to overlook a new military posting in Carneville. In addition, you'll be making sure Aqua doesn't try overthrowing the government. Again. This is a great responsibility, but with the help of your new friends, I've no doubt that you will succeed in your mission."

...A new military base? With all the paperwork and logistics involved? Here, at the edge of the Everfree? Guarding the requisite users of Equestria's most powerful superweapon, as well as acting as warden of the greatest threat to the nation to date?! Without a raise or promotion?!

Damn it. Damn it all! Damn it all to Tartarus!

Curse you, Being A!