I've been writing for, like, 8 years, and I still don't know what I'm doing. https://ko-fi.com/perfectlyinsane
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In the wake of a harrowing experience in the caves beneath The Pie Farm, Pinkie Pie is left twice-cursed—first by disturbing visions, and then by a question: Will she ever sleep again?
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Huge thanks to Chudo, RB, TMBT, Oblivion, Wayward, Smokinguy, and gapty for helping fine-tune the fic via prereading and editing.
All chapters are finished and will be posted one a day.
Cover art done by MissTwipie.
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perfectly insane
Ah,yes...insomnia, my old friend.
Spooky scary skeletons
Well, isn't that ominous
Okay so I read this late last night while I was falling asleep and fighting to stay awake to read it to the end. (Ironic for a fic called Insomnia, huh?) Anyway I did, in fact, power through despite how desperately my eyelids wanted to shut-- Which just goes to show how intrigued I was! All the beginning dialogue was nice in the way it got you attached to the characters within the world of this story with it's own direction of depth. It made the spook spookier and it had me really sympathizing with Pinkie and rooting for her survival (or sanity perhaps). I'm very interested to see where this goes...
(Jeez I feel like I sound like an AI with how basic this feedback sounds in my head, I'm not a master critique or anything, I just really wanted to try my hand at saying something fruitful because I know how hard it is to get that from ppl.)
Honestly I think it deserves much more recondition, it's clear that you put a lot of care into it and I've really enjoyed it so far!
Setting aside the horror for the moment, this may be my favorite story on this site in well over five years.
Your writing of Pinkie Pie as a feeling intelligent character without clunky introspection is sheer brilliance.
Not to mention deeply refreshing after years of seeing her being used as a gimmicky plot device.
Even her relationships feel believable and show how much she cares for everyone in her life without overwrought cliches.
Heck you made me emotional about Gummy, whose usually such a non entity I forget he exists.
This is a masterwork in character writing and I'm looking forward to seeing what else you can do with it.
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I've been told character writing is my strong suit, so the praise is heavily appreciated. How was the horror itself? This has been my first time writing it, though I've been consuming it for most of my life, so I can only hope my best is enough.
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It's sufficiently uncanny and unsettling for sure. I'm not really scared per say though.
This is due to a couple of reasons, but the only one tied to your story specifically, is that the impression I'm getting from this thing (whatever it is) isn't actual malice.
It feels more like it's trying to elicit sympathy or entrust something to Pinkie. It had way too many chances to possess or murder her if that was the goal.
This really doesn't feel like a story that's going to end in a grisly murder or a horrible fate for Pinkie, and for me that cuts down on the tension.
It's not a bad story. I very much want to see where this is going and what this thing's deal is. It just doesn't frighten me as much as it makes me sad for Pinkie and her situation.
There are other factors at play such as overexposure to the horror genre (particularly in MLP) and the limitations of writing over video etc. But I think that's the main factor at play as to why it doesn't exactly feel scary.