This story is a sequel to Give them a push
Twilight had bumped into Flash Sentry again. At this point, it seemed like a ritual. Rainbow Dash and Applejack had even started taking bets on how many times the bump was going to happen each time they went to the Crystal Empire. Looks like Flurry Heart will have to take matters into her own hooves this time. This time even her mommy was going to help! Just one problem. Her dad can never know.
The premise is fine and the dialogue exchanges are serviceable, but please start new paragraphs every time a different character speaks. This was harder to read than it needed to be.
Additionally, I think you put in the wrong character tag (should be Mane 6, not Mane 5).
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Thank you for the comments! I'll see what I can fix right now!
Hey there. Have to say, this looks like a fairly entertaining cute story. And, concerning the way the world is, cute is actually refreshing. Admittedly, I prefer Flash with Sunset. I mean, the only reason Flash and Sunset broke up in the first place was because Flash wised up to how bad Sunset was at the time, but AFTER Sunset changed for the much better, there's not much stopping them from getting back together aside from pride. But, well, that's in the human world, which this isn't. And I'm also mature enough to respect those that like the Twilight/Flash pairing.
But, well, not much I can say other than really good job on the dialogue, characterizations and future chapter set-up. And, yes, the endearingly awkward shenanigans while the two of them were working together on a baking project were pretty good. Actually reminds me a bit of G5's "Sunny Side Up", even if I know that is just a coincidence.
REALLY looking forward to more of this.
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Thank you! I'm so happy you liked the story! I have to admit, the Flash and Sunset shipping is cute as well. I think human Flash and Sunset work really well actually. One of the perks of having a pony Flash and a human Flash is that we can ship them with two different people or ponies. So maybe I might incorporate the human Flash and Sunset shipping in the future...
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Thanks very much for the response back.
Another well done chapter. Definitely liked the work going into the dialogue, characterizations and future chapter set-up. Really appreciated Twilight, Flash and Flurry insisting on cleaning up their own mess (finishing with that just as the cookies were done). Also liked the bit about Twilight's injury getting bandaged up. And, yikes, Shining. Tone down the "overprotective big brother" stuff. I mean, if somebody REALLY wronged her, Twilight could do a lot worse to them than you could (though I can SORT OF understand wanting to make sure SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO).
But, anyway, definitely looking forward to more of this.
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Thanks for the compliments! And yes, Shining really needs to tone down his protectiveness. But don't worry. He'll come around. Eventually...
Yeah friends got it wink 😉
Twilight
I mean it is true you did kind of bump into him a couple of times it's like a tradition when you guys see each other which is cute
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Whoopsies! I'll fix that now!
Yeah he could be very overprotective with you and what makes things worse he was the captain of the royal guard so that's a little bit more intimidating
Once again another interesting story and my favorite shipping as well or at least one of them anyway it looks like Twilight and the others are visiting to the Crystal Empire and it looks like our friends already know Twilight has a crush on flash despite how many times she deny everything about her feelings but she knows a deep down and apparently even Cadence know but it looks like flurry heart is curious about this whole situation and something tells me she's going to get involved into this
Old habits died hard lol 😆
So those like some of them have split up Twilight and the remaining of her friends still wondering what to do in the Crystal Empire until she bumped into flash which of course again very cute and funny and it looks like flurry heart also found her as well and she asked Twilight to bake cupcakes with her and it looks like her friends made a little change of plan for having Twilight spending time with flash and coincidentally his shift was over so he has a free time so once Twilight friends left it looks like flurry Heart notice it too and she looks like she's going for it again
Hooves
Aww so it looks like the three ponies are making some cupcakes and everything and of course flurry heart try to use the tactic to get those two notice each other which it kind of work which it was pretty cute then it was really nice of flash saying that to Twilight so I wonder what else are they going to do
Oops
Some
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Thx for pointing that out!
Awww that was actually kind of cute so it looks like the cookies was done and Twilight was about to get them but she accidentally burned herself from the stove and Flash checked her injury which that's pretty sweet of him to do that but after that all of them went to meet up with Shining Armor and Cadence to see the cookies and of course as the oldest brother he's a little overprotective and he looks like he was about to kill Flash but after that it looks like flurry heart is getting some help this time from her mother and Twilight's friends well this should be very interesting I guess we'll find out how this will work next time
Cute. I thought that Flurry was being too upfront and obvious before I remembered that she's a kid. Of course she won't know how to be subtle.
I'm going to guess that you don't bake yourself. There were a couple of things that raised an eyebrow, although unless one bakes a lot, one probably won't notice.
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You are absolutely right. Everytime I bake it ends in disaster. My friends even decided that I needed a “babysitter” everytime I baked. So yeah, I seldom bake or cook, so please forgive me if the baking part isn’t really accurate.
Another really good job on the latest chapter. Certainly liked the stuff about Twilight and Flash having more in common than one would suspect at first glance. And, yeah, it makes sense that Flash would be a fan of the Daring Do series. Also got a chuckle out of the interactions with the rest of the Mane Six and Cadance.
Of course, I have a hunch that it's only a matter of time before Pinkie and Cheese end up in Flurry's sights (probably when the two of them are working together for Flurry's next birthday). Of course, Ember and Thorax might be good future targets for Flurry Heart as well - or Spike and Gabby. Then again, her "targets" might decide to get in some "payback" by trying to fix her up with Pound Cake. :-D
But anyway, the dialogue, characterizations and future chapter set-up are all well done and I'm definitely looking forward to more of this.
I mean it doesn't mean you can find love Twilight you don't have to be to one dimensional
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I think you might be on to something with Cheese and Pinkie…😉 Also, thank you for the compliments!
Aww poor Twilight she's so confused so it looks like Cadence and flurry heart ask the other girls to help out with the plan to get Twilight to confess that she has a crush on flash which they decided to do a girls night which is nice so the girls were kind of talking about how Twilight is still crushing and everything and she still in denial and she doesn't think she can fall in love with anybody but right now she's just confused than ever it looks like she really need some help I guess we'll find out next time
Another well done chapter. Certainly like the effort going into the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up. And, yeah, Twilight waking up and getting ready in a rushed way WAS kind of funny, as was Twilight and Flash eventually making the realization that this was all a set up for a date. Yeah, it is understandable getting frustrated about being tricked, but I have a feeling Twilight will calm down before the night's over.
Definitely looking forward to more of this.
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Don’t worry! Twilight is definitely gonna calm down soon…
Another great job on this chapter. Certainly liked the work going into the dialogue, characterizations and future chapter set-up. And, yeah, Twilight wondering how long her friends have been setting this up was a cute touch, as was the gang spying on Twilight and Flash.
I am definitely going to be looking forward to more of this.
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Thank you!
Again, an excellent job on the exchanges, characterizations and future set-up. Definitely appreciated Flash calming Twilight down after that kiss and then the two of them pretty much stating that they, well, didn't know, but at least suspected that their friends were spying on them the entire date.
And, yes, downright adorable ending, thus far.
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Thank you for sticking with me till the very end! Really appreciated all your comments from every chapter!
Lol it feels like they are destined to be bumping to each other
Well at least that works so it looks like Twilight's friends Cadence and flurry heart patch up another plan so Starlight ask Twilight if she wants to go to the restaurants which she did but the others were pretty busy so they can't come so it was just Twilight and starlight but little that she know when she got there she ran into Flash and apparently both of them did not know about the situation but somehow they made it work just to have dinner with each other let's see how this will go
Luckily there's no thorns in that bush
Way to kill the Mood 😑
To the castle
Well that was certainly a nice one so Flash and Twilight are having the dinner together despite they will tricked by her friends and speaking of which they are outside spying on them and they're pretty itchy how this will work out I'm also the same way as well but it looks like they're heading for the castle so they better skedaddle
Dang it Pinkie Pie
Oh shoot 😰
Aww this was a pretty nice story and a very adorable one as well so it looks like rainbow and flurry heart have one more idea to give Flash and Twilight a boost so they finally returned to the castle but then a lightning strike scaring Twilight but flash caught her and it looks like they were having a little moment and before he know it Twilight kissed him and Twilight felt a little embarrassed about that but he embraced her because now they finally admitted how much they really love each other but Pinkie Pie had to ruin the moments and she called them out but flurry heart told her that it was her idea but things got a little bit more complicated when Shining Armor and Cadence showed up and he basically went crazy on flash but luckily Cadence restrained him so with that everybody was pretty happy for Twilight and Flash well except for Shining Armor but whatever again this was cute and I've always liked the shipping between them I never understood why people get so upset with that but anyway this was good keep up the good work
I really love this, and while reading it, I am listening to country music, I think, listening to music, and reading a story like this really brings out the characters in the story.
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Thank you!
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You’re welcome
Excellent story just like your last one with right amount of comedy and seriousness mixed in together. I am a proud Flashlight shipper (both versions, in fact) all the way. And Starburst as well. So this was a good read.
If you don’t mind me asking, what are your pairings for the rest of the Mane 6?