The Elements of Harmony
Days turn to weeks as Anon's self-inflicted solitude continues. He has barely left the Castle of the Two Sisters since his arrival. He doesn't have much of a reason to. This is his home, as well as the closest thing he has to a connection with Nightmare Moon. He wants to regain some semblance of normalcy in his life.
To that end, he has dedicated much of his time to restoring the castle. With him taking up residence in Nightmare Moon's old quarters, he started there. He knows his way around the castle, and although most of its valuables have been stolen or destroyed, less important objects were ignored and left behind. It wasn't hard to find a mop, a vacuum, or anything else he needs. Thus, he set to work on the monumental task of restoring a castle all on his lonesome. It's not like he has anything better to do anyway.
Whatever furniture was still usable, he put back in its proper place. Whatever wasn't went into a junk pile he made behind the castle, which gradually grew more and more as the days went on. Cleaning up all of the graffiti wasn't easy, but with enough soap and dedication, he was able to get pretty much all of it off. He even found a few tools in one of the towers outside, allowing him to fix the destroyed door. All in all, he was able to get her old room back into a livable state. It might not be as grand or respectable as it was before, but it's serviceable.
Next, he set to work on his own room. Pretty much nothing in there was salvageable, and he tossed darn near everything that wasn't nailed down. The graffiti was just as difficult to clean as it was in his lady's room, but he was able to get it off while mostly ignoring the messages that were directed towards him. By the time he was done, his bedroom was squeaky clean, but mostly empty. If he had anything to put in there, it would be fit for a princess. Alas, all that remains now is the sad husk of what used to be something great.
Heh, that sure does remind him of someone.
With his initial task completed, he began to work his way outward. He cleaned the halls, whether they were defaced or not. He patched up holes in the walls as best he could with his less-than-professional handiwork. Due to his lack of knowledge on how to install new windows, he boarded up those that were shattered. The castle is still drafty because of that, but he's doing his best. The trickiest part has been fixing the ceilings, but with a ladder, some wood, some leftover stone, and a whole lot of determination, he has at least been able to patch them up enough to stop the cold, Everfree Forest rain from getting in. All in all, he's mostly satisfied with his work.
However, the more he works, the closer he gets to the part of the castle he has been most dreading: the entrance hall. Sure, he's passed through there more than a couple of times during his stay. It's practically impossible not to. However, he has been doing his best to not linger.
The wounds that were inflicted there are still fresh.
Instead, he meanders around the entrance hall, cleaning pretty much everything else he can find. The more he cleans, the less he has left to do. Eventually, he decides that it's time to face the inevitable.
He has to think about it at some point.
Broom in hand, Anon slowly trudges towards the entrance of the castle. Getting around is second nature to him by now, even with the castle in the haphazardly refurbished state that it's in. It's that familiarity that allows him to realize something is off.
Anon freezes in place before pressing himself against a wall. He's adjacent to the entrance hall, and he can hear movement. Granted, the entrance hall is bound to be a bit noisier than most other rooms and corridors. He has yet to fix it, after all, so there are still a few holes in the walls and ceiling that allow many sounds from the forest to echo through the space. However, his instincts tell him that this is something else.
Someone is inside.
Silently, Anon creeps through the hall and into the doorway connecting it to the large room. As expected, the room is just as he left it. The midday sun is pouring through the collapsed ceiling. Loose stone has fallen into several piles. Graffiti covers the walls and floor, and whatever furnishings there were have been completely destroyed.
And there, in the center of the room, is a mare he is very familiar with.
Her coat is a gentle blue color, and her mane is every color of the rainbow. Said mane, which Anon is used to seeing cut into a flat top, has been growing out and now hangs lazily over the front of her face. The purple, bat-like armor that she used to wear is completely missing. In fact, the only thing on her person is a bag that appears to be filled with all manners of spray paint.
This is Rainbow Dash, the mare that used to be one of the highest ranking members of Nightmare Moon's military force, the Lunar Guard. She is also one of the mares that killed her.
At the moment, she is engrossed in her work. She wears a cocky grin as she adds to the countless number of phrases and pictures emblazoned on the floor. It seems that she is at least one of the culprits responsible for this mess. The biggest surprise to Anon is that she had the gall to come alone.
Doing his best to contain his growing anger at the sight of her, Anon slowly emerges from the hall and steps into the sunlight. His presence is immediately noticed by Rainbow Dash, who drops the can and takes a defensive position.
"Anon!"
"...What are you doing here, Dash?"
"I didn't know you were still around."
"Answer my question."
"Yeah, well, you caught me red-hoofed. Not much for me to say, is there?"
She glares at Anon, and he glares back. The hostility between them easily rivals what was going on between Anon and Twilight, perhaps even surpassing it. Their voices are low and angry, even vaguely threatening.
"Get out of here, Dash."
"Why? I have just as much of a right to be here as you do."
"No. You don't."
"Hah! How do you figure?"
"Because one of us didn't turn traitor."
"Traitor?! You're out of your mind if you think I'm a traitor!"
"You betrayed your princess!"
"News flash, Anon! I was never loyal to her to begin with!"
"Isn't that ironic, miss 'Element of Loyalty?'"
"Oh, I'm loyal. But my loyalty lies with Princess Celestia. With doing the right thing. With my friends."
Anon lets out a frustrated sigh.
"And here I thought you were one of the few ponies around here that was good at her job."
"Shows how little you paid attention. Who do you think let Twilight escape after you ruined the rebellion's plans? Who do you think let Fluttershy get away after being sentenced to execution? Who do you think helped Twilight rally the six of us together after her... books n' stuff told us how to defeat Nightmare Moon?"
Anon glares at Rainbow Dash silently for a few moments as he processes her words.
"...You were a double agent that whole time?"
"You know what they say. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."
"For all those years, you were planning a coup against my lady?!"
The cocky smile on Rainbow Dash's face widens.
"If that's what you want to call 'giving Equestria its freedom back,' then yeah, I guess I was." Before she finishes her sentence, Anon has thrown himself at her. He is extremely deft and quick on his feet, but Rainbow Dash is faster. She easily sidesteps him, causing him to stumble for a moment before turning around. "Careful there, Anon. Don't forget our old sparring sessions. We both know how this ends."
"You killed her!"
Anon tries to throw a punch, but Rainbow Dash lazily dodges it before taking to the sky with a single flap of her wings.
"And I saved Princess Luna. Besides, I couldn't have done it alone. I don't see you attacking Twilight for it."
Anon breathes heavily as he looks up at Rainbow Dash, his rage-filled eyes almost completely glossed over.
"There is nothing I hate more than liars! You betrayed her! You betrayed me!"
"Dude, you say that like we were friends."
In a swift movement, Anon reaches into his pocket and pulls out his signature enchanted dagger. It was the first gift Nightmare Moon ever gave him, and he cherishes it to this day. Just as quickly as he retrieved it, he throws it into the air towards Rainbow Dash. She reacts just quickly enough to avoid a direct hit, but it still grazes her cheek. A cut now lines the side of her face, though she doesn't appear particularly bothered by it.
"Get out. I never want to see your face again!"
"Why are you so protective of her in the first place? You're free now, dude. Go, like, get a real job or something."
"For someone that's supposed to embody loyalty, you sure seem to be having a hard time understanding where my loyalty comes from!"
"You don't even know..." For a moment, Rainbow Dash looks like she's pondering something before she gives up and simply shrugs. "Whatever. Your loss."
Without another word, she dips down just far enough to grab her bag full of spray paint and flies upwards in a hurry, exiting the entrance hall through one of the holes in the ceiling. Anon watches her depart, and he continues to watch her until he confirms that she has left in the direction of Ponyville and has disappeared over the treeline. With an angry grunt of frustration, he takes a seat on a nearby pile of stone. When he does so, he can't avert his eyes from a large crater in the center of the room he was desperately trying to ignore.
It seems that both Rainbow Dash and this room have reminded him of a memory he's been trying to block out.
"What do you all think you're doing?"
Anon glares at the dozen or so ponies standing between him and the Castle of the Two Sisters. Moonlight illuminates the outdoor space, and a chill breeze washes over them. He's just returned from another mission, wherein he successfully used his "natural abilities" to single-handedly crush a crowd of dissenters in Manehattan. It wasn't pretty. However, he did his job exactly as his lady demanded, and he was intending on informing her of such.
It isn't like the Lunar Guard to get in his way.
One of the stallions steps forward, removing his helmet and staring daggers into Anon.
"We can't let you through, Anon."
"And why not?"
"Because today, Nightmare Moon falls."
Anon has seen this before. It isn't the first time members of the Lunar Guard have rebelled against their princess, and it probably wouldn't be the last.
"You know, every time you ponies try to hurt my lady, you say something along those lines. And every single time, it ends poorly for you." Anon reaches into his pocket and retrieves his dagger, twirling it around in his hand for a moment with a little flourish. "I recommend you step aside before I report this."
The ponies do no such thing, and they instead begin to draw their spears.
"This time is different."
"Oh? And how so?"
"We have the Elements of Harmony on our side. They're taking care of Nightmare Moon as we speak. All we have to do is keep you out."
Anon freezes for just a moment. She doesn't like to talk about it much, but Nightmare Moon has given him the tale of her banishment before. Her sister, Princess Celestia, was losing their duel until she used the Elements of Harmony, magical objects that act as the embodiment of friendship itself. Such a power directly countered Nightmare Moon's own, causing her defeat and subsequent banishment. However, she told Anon that she destroyed them as soon as she returned. They have to be bluffing, right?
"Well, thanks for telling me your plan. Now I know what I have to do."
"You say that like it will be easy." In an instant, Anon closes the gap between them. He slashes at the stallion with his dagger, using his exposed head as a target. The stallion takes a direct hit, but he yells out to his compatriots as he falls to the ground. "Now!"
Anon braces himself. He's faced worse odds than this. Between his magic resistance and his ever-growing proficiency with his dagger, he can take care of these ponies. The past four years of service to Nightmare Moon have been the best years of his life, after all. For once, he's actually doing something. He's making a difference. He's making someone proud.
He's important to someone, and he doesn't plan on screwing that up.
He moves like a whirlwind, bouncing from one pony to the next. A kick here, a slash there. He is rapidly tearing through their ranks, but as he fights, he sees more and more emerging from the various towers and structures nearby. He's surrounded, he's becoming increasingly outnumbered, and they're closing in on him.
"Has the entire Lunar Guard turned traitor?!"
"You were the only one loyal to that tyrant in the first place!"
Anon's struggle continues. However, he can't maintain that pace forever. Regardless of his physical advantages, he is still just one man against an army. Slowly, he accumulates cuts, bruises, even a stab wound here and there. And yet, he doesn't back down. Then, he is caught off guard by one of the stallions near the back yelling something else.
"Do it!"
Suddenly, the ground gives out beneath him. He tumbles against a dirt wall and falls nearly twenty feet. He manages to land on his feet, though he is unsure of his situation. He appears to be in a dirt hole, barely six feet in diameter. At the top, he can see many ponies staring down at him with smiles on their faces. They excitedly slap each other on the back and cheer at the sight of him in the pit. It seems he fell for one of the oldest tricks in the book. They weren't trying to kill him, they were trying to get him to stand where they wanted him.
"What is this?!"
"Doesn't matter how strong you are if you can't fly, haha!" The soldiers continue to excitedly cheer amongst themselves, and Anon catches one of them say something to a pony he cannot see. "Now we just have to wait for those six to be done."
Anon feels his heart begin to sink. His blood runs cold as he realizes the gravity of the situation. This isn't just another meaningless uprising, or some insubordinate farmers not accustomed to change. For the first time since arriving in Equestria, Anon realizes that his lady might very well be in danger.
And he might be running out of time.
Doing his best to keep his composure, Anon takes a deep breath. He closes his eyes, clenches his fists, and thinks. The ponies above him pay him no mind beyond a passing glance every now and then to check on him. If he's going to act, he needs to do it soon.
Wordlessly, he slams a fist against the dirt wall. He may have magic resistance, but not even he can make much of a difference punching solid ground. He punches again in frustration. Once again, nothing happens. For several minutes, his actions could be described as little more than a temper tantrum. He's stuck, and he has no one to blame but himself.
"Hey, what are you doing down th-UGH!"
One of the stallions peered into the hole, which was exactly what Anon was waiting for. As soon as his head was fully visible, Anon threw his dagger. A direct hit. The stallion tumbled down into the hole with Anon, spear and all. Anon carefully sidesteps his body and grabs the spear, as well as his dagger that fell back into the hole. There is a commotion above, but Anon ignores it. With the spear in one hand and his dagger in the other, he leaps as high as he can and stabs the spear into the dirt wall. Using the stuck spear as leverage, he throws himself upwards once more, now stabbing his dagger into the wall. With his now-free hand and some twisting and turning, he retrieves the spear below him, throws himself upwards again, and stabs it into the wall. He continues this process a couple more times until, finally, he emerges at the top of the hole. As soon as he does, he is met with several spears being thrust in his direction, which he doesn't entirely manage to avoid. It hurts, but he ignores the pain.
He remembers little of the next few moments as he tears through wave after wave of Lunar Guard soldiers, slowly making his way forward. Eventually, their ranks thin enough for him to reach the entrance of the Castle of the Two Sisters. The grand doors are already open, allowing him to make his way into the entrance hall.
In the center of the room, six mares appear to be floating, facing away from him. Their bodies are glowing, and a rainbow aura is bouncing between them. Before them, Nightmare Moon looks on in shock and horror. Both she and the other mares look worse for wear, and there are obvious signs of a struggle throughout the hall. One of the mares, a purple unicorn that Anon recognizes, says something that he doesn't quite catch. Then, a massive beam of rainbow-like magic erupts from the mares and shoots into the sky. The magic begins to arc downwards, and Anon realizes exactly where it's going. He doesn't have time to move. He can't stop this. He was too late.
"LADY MOON!"
He helplessly reaches out towards her as he calls her name. For less than a second, she locks eyes with him. Her eyes are wide, and her typical cocky, cold demeanor has vanished. For the first and only time in his life, Anon sees fear on Nightmare Moon's face. She's scared. She's confused. She's silently begging for him to save her.
Then, the magic hits.
Anon blinks. He's still sitting in the entrance hall of the Castle of the Two Sisters. A quick glance to the sky reveals moonlight pouring through the holes in the ceiling. How long has he been zoning out?
He brings a hand to his face as he realizes that it's difficult to see clearly. He rubs his eyes, noticing that they're filled with tears. He clicks his tongue and tries to regain his composure. He needs to focus on the present. Rainbow Dash is gone, and he still has some cleaning to do. He has to get this place fixed up. It doesn't matter how long it takes or how many ponies get in his way. It's his greatest reminder of who Nightmare Moon was.
And painful though it may be, he won't allow himself to forget.
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Ah, so there was someone helping from the inside the whole time. Of course Rainbow Dash would save her childhood friend from being executed.
It's also interesting to see signs that those around Nightmare Moon were, in the vein of the alternate timeline having Rainbow Dash and Random Guard wincing in fear of what she'd do in response to Spike's words, rather iffy on well and truly supporting her in the face of something that could actually stop her.
Rainbow Dash certainly didn't let him leave without humiliation involved.
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If the story were being told from Twilight's perspective, while keeping the events the same, people would be calling for Anon’s head to roll in droves, because he betrayed her trust in trying to be next-to-unconditionally kind to him, by offering him food and shelter, and then after it's all said and done, he has the gall to be angry at her for opposing Nightmare Moon successfully, having such severe Moral Myopia he ignores that she had every reason to dedicate her life to opposing them after that.
It’s especially true when you consider at least a few of Twilight’s classmates, that is to say, her friends she grew up with, are fucking dead because of him. Oh, how dare she have a desire to not let them die and/or be subjugated for nothing, have their deaths be in vain, because it affected him to fight back successfully, after he’d deceived her.
From Twilight’s perspective, others are dead (quite possibly including Moondancer, to make an example out of the leader...) thanks to her misplaced trust. So she’s been relatively kind, all things considered, to him. I wouldn’t blame her if she tried to kill him, after everything he put her through, the way he acted to her… but it wouldn’t bring anyone back.
So, looking at it from that lens, from her POV, would you really expect, say, Twilight to be nice to Anon? To sympathize with his oh-so-tragic loss? When he shows absolutely zero remorse for what he did to her and he’d do it again given the chance as is? Yeah… no.
She has literally done nothing wrong for trying to depose a tyrant like that by whatever means necessary, and for feeling little to no pity for someone who’d hurt her so deeply, drove her into spending four years mostly being on the run, in fear for her life, how all hope would be lost if she got captured and/or killed — if she even had a snowball’s chance in hell of succeeding — until she finally succeeded. The mare’s a certified gigachad from that angle, to endure despite everything she'd been through.
Anon’s own perspective doesn't make it look much better from a neutral standpoint, at all, because up to the point of meeting Twilight, Nightmare Moon tried to kill him, and then offered him food and shelter on the conditional provision of being useful to her, which she then did so, sent him out, with the threat of death being incorporated if he didn’t play along.
(Chapter 1)
Whereas Twilight's aforementioned interaction after was...
(Chapter 3)
She unhesitatingly stuck up for someone she knew nothing about because she was given the impression of someone in need.
This is despite them being pressed for resources like food, without an agreement that he’d help them, up to then.
And how does he repay her attempt at kindness?
…He unhesitatingly slashed at Twilight on the way to beat Moondancer down. So she likely has a physical reminder (scar) of what Anon did to her, to top it off.
And how did he react to doing any of this, on review?
(Chapter 4)
No remorse. Anon rationalizes the crap he pulled as “they probably deserved it,” despite having absolutely zero insight into who they were other than “I was told to do this.” Even though, again, a good number of them are dead because of what he did. He’s laughing with her.
He’s willfully dehumanizing (or deequinizing if you’d prefer) others solely for opposing them, showcasing a rather… deficient sense of empathy.
Anon's not an anti-hero/anti-villain. He's a full-blown Villain Protagonist who willfully ignored a heroic path, and in favor of something that was amusedly admitted in the debriefing to be a suicide mission by the mare herself, no less. He spat on Twilight’s attempt at giving him hospitable kindness in favor of someone who, at least initially, coerced him with a death threat to be “useful.” And then he repeatedly doubled down on that decision.
Nightmare Moon can have loved him to the ends of Equestria and vice-versa, and it still doesn’t make anything he did excusable, especially not the myopic perspective to the atrocities he’s contributed to/committed.
One wonders what kind of a body count he's achieved by this point. I'm certain Celestia has been having such fun dealing with all the correspondence resulting from her unilateral pardon.
Interesting chapter
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Does anyone actually like Angel Bunny? He's an asshole.
Man, I'm really feeling the despair for Anon here. The entire world thinks he was being controlled. No one wants to believe he willingly helped NMM. I can't imagine how he must hate almost everything now.
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Za bardzo się przykładasz to historia o złoczyńcy jeśli chcesz poczytać o bohaterach jest cała masa innych historii. Po prostu ciekawiej się to czyta niż człowiek pomógł elementom i jest kolejnym z dobrych. Czasami potrzebujemy historii o złoczyńcy żeby zaspokoić naszą wewnętrzną ciemność.
Anyone else get a comparison of Tai Lung escaping and fighting the guards vibe here? Anyway I honestly think the only being that can understand just WHY Anon is so loyal to Nightmare Moon would be Discord. Ponies just have to much of a Black and White mentality. They just cant comprehend that someone that is considered EVIL could have someone that gives an actual damn about them.
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Absolutely wonderful summary of Anon here. None of the main 6 have any reason to show any level of kindness to him. Any level of anything really.
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FUCKING THANK YOU OH MY GOD.
11735349
Entertainingly, this is the only thing Anon has done I approve of.
I am kind of curious what really inspired him to be so loyal to NMM. At least the first chapter/mission could be explained away by him being abused and used to the 'mission giver' format from all his previous positions and him having a great deal of mental inertia from those, but at some point there's got to be a defining 'yes, this is who I want to serve' moment.
11735339
Yawn.
Great chapter, felt really bad for Anon here.
Mmmmmm................ Rainbow Dash is never really a element of loyalty from the beginning, more like an element of disloyalty and cowardice. Willing to betray others for their own selfish benefit and prideful arrogance just to save their skins. Stay strong Anon. Do not be tempted and affected by does ruinous harmony sun-kissing ponies.
Man, Nightmare Moon's secret police sucks
11735434
She simply gave his life purpose/meaning.
" Grap you iron - lets mobilize. it's about time to start it like in 2023" - Johnny Silverheand 2077 in V head
I may not understand why he loved her or even if they were good together but I do wish they would get love doesn't have to make sense it just is. And he loved nightmare moon. They could at least be sorry that he lost the girl he loved even they didn't like her. Can't they show a little empathy for goodness sake.
11735349
Yeah, you're right. No one besides Fluttershy actually liked Angel Bunny, he was a jerk.
It's just like how no one besides Anon actually liked Nightmare Moon, she was a jerk.
Interesting parallel.
Others have said it more succinctly, but here's my thoughts which hopefully can help in the future.
I worry the author has made a massive miscalculation on both what makes a sympathetic character and how far the reader's sympathy can stretch as they venture into this genre (outside of adorable one-shot romances).
There has been very little to give us, as readers, a reason to sympathize with Anon. A hard life isn't a free pass to throw in your lot with a tyrant and kill in their name. Can it explain why? Sure! Logically, yes, it gives motive and reason. But emotionally, there has to be enough for us to understand why, and for us as a reader to be on the side of the protagonist. As it stands there isn't. There isn't much of anything in that area, to be honest.
Anon, at this point, is a villain. Not a "misunderstood" bad guy, he's just not a good person- actively not a good person, I might add. I get Disney vibes from this, to be honest. "This guy is absolutely horrible and has killed people....but he's just misunderstood! You must like him!" Anon hasn't even attempted to explore why the majority of the population hates Nightmare Moon.
He's a villain. And he both doesn't seem to understand the depth of this, or actively doesn't care. His moral compass appears to swing to whoever tries the least to kill him on sight, and he comes off as having zero emotional depth or intelligence outside of being loyal to NM. No remorse, nothing. His actions ruined lives, and apparently that's everyone else's fault?
That doesn't make him a likeable character. In fact, it makes him downright unpleasant to read about, considering the narcissistic, victimizing behavior. If he had redeeming qualities we could feel sympathy for him losing NM- but...there just aren't any.
Maybe there will be some twist where he got infected by the Nightmare as well, and Anon is horrifically remorseful & tries to cope with the trauma. But as it stands, it's a pretty simple layout.
1. Human had horrible life before coming to Equestria.
2. Human encountered ruler who was actively bad (e.g. tried to immediately wound/kill him, send on suicide mission), but said ruler was willing to treat him a small step above an insect.
3. Human threw their entire lot, love, and loyalty to them to the point of killing, all because of (2).
4. Human is now sad because he cannot comprehend why people hate him for his actions, despite killing, injuring, ruining lives, and having allied himself with a tyrant who overthrew the previous ruler.
5. Human firmly believes everyone else is at fault for destroying the tyrant who ruined lives, and it's their problem to deal with, and Anon is the victim here.
Unfortunately, it's not a winning formula. I'm somewhat curious where it goes, but in my opinion, this entire story is extremely broken in terms of characterization & sympathies. One of the worse sins an author can commit is making the reader go "I don't care what happens to this person." And unfortunately, for me at least, Anon is sitting firmly that camp.
11735616
What else would you have the ponies do here? We already saw Celestia and Pinkie tried to extend some sort of olive branch, and he just threw that back in their faces. And the situation isn't that they didn't "like" Nightmare Moon that much because she was mean to them- by all accounts she was despised and rightfully so, given her cruelty and how by the sound of it she was responsible for quite a few ponies losing loved ones herself. Plus, most ponies are apparently unaware of the exact nature of Anon's relationship with Nightmare Moon in the first place, probably assuming it was either at best another case of mind control/coercion, or else at worst simply one sociopath using another. Learning that Anon loved the Nightmare is probably going to be another mark against him for most ponies, not something that makes him more sympathetic in their eyes.
But at the end of the day, the world does not revolve around Anon's broken heart. He is just one of thousands who suffered some sort of loss as a result of Nightmare Moon's reign, and most ponies have more important things to focus on with the rebuilding of their lives now than to coddle the feelings of a man who refuses to show remorse for the harm he caused, and who would absolutely sacrifice them and their livelihoods just to bring back Nightmare Moon and make himself happy again- any damage caused by a second reign of terror is immaterial next to that (including Luna's own feelings of being forced back into insanity and losing herself again).
A very nice update.
11735641
What do you mean? Plenty of people here are having zero problems sympathizing with Anon. Just because you and a few others don't doesn't mean that the author's doing something wrong.
11735654
I'm not asking them to stop dislike her just stop trying to get him to stop being upset. He not going to them they keep going to him and then being upset because he is upset that the girl he loved is gone.
11735665
People sympathize with Galadriel in the "Lord of the Rings" series from Amazon. That doesn't change the fact she's a horrible character in terms of writing, narrative, and overall "good vs bad".
On an extremely superficial level, yes, plenty of readers can sympathize with Anon. "Oh, he lost someone he loved!"
Any deeper, and it completely falls apart.
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True. But it isn't Twilight's story.
Everyone is a villain in someone's story. If NMM had won, in another few generations Anon would have been a great national hero. NMM lost, so he's a pardoned war criminal and all-around monster.
But Anon just won't give up, even when it makes no rational sense to continue. And in a world of candy-colored ponies, that is truly what makes him a monster.
11735641
You might be surprised. Anon is alive, capable, persistent, and driven. Given the right opportunity, that's a recipe for greatness.
Anon is such a sympathetic character, it makes you wonder how he'd be if he hadn't landed at NMM's doorstep and instead met the resistance first.
Probably dead, but he's the protagonist so maybe not.
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That raises a bit of a point, actually.
Just what is the resistance really like? We've all just been assuming that they're the same candy-coated good guys we see in the show, but it's just as likely that they recreated the Committee for Public Safety before Celestia intervened.
I wonder how much blood is on their hooves?
I have complicated feelings about this story. To quickly sum them up, I'm happy that its being written and I'm enjoying reading it. As is being pointed out in comments, there are spots both in the background of Anon and of the world he is in that are a little ambiguous that I think are causing some issues, but I suspect filling in these spots would require a much longer story and perhaps a more strongly defined anon than I think author wants?
I'm tempted to go in depth about it, but given that we have at least 2-3 more chapters to go I'm gonna wait and see what gets addressed and what gets left open. I can empathize with Anon, but not quite sympathize. I am very interested to see where and how this ends.
I do think you might want to consider splitting the flashbacks into their own chapters, or at least make the fic less focused on the backstory; otherwise it kind of invalidates the present tense when half or more of every chapter is a set up for a flashback.
In summery, start the fic when he meets nightmare cause that’s all that has gotten any focus, the rest has just been “and then I did stuff for a week, it reminds me of…”. Or scale back on the flashbacks and leave them as backstory exposition.
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A factor I think is also worth noting is that there have been... oddities scattered throughout the story in how others have talked to Anon about Nightmare Moon.
We have...
Luna's suspicious phrasing laden with awkwardness and tension, when he was badgering her.
Rarity trying to warn him — and she absolutely would know a thing or two about charming/social tricks.
And in this chapter, we have:
So that's three characters who don't seem to have the opinion that what they had was good.
Okay, fair enough, they're biased.
...but what about Nightmare Moon's perspective? The tyrant who was completely unapologetic about trying to kill him, whether it be personally, or a suicide mission? How does she interact with him, when it's only them?
"My lady?"
"Yes?"
versus
"My lady?"
"Speak."
The power dynamics at play there, as spelled out several months in, Nightmare Moon isn't even beginning to pretend to treat him as equal to her. He thinks of her as growing to trust him, yet she's deliberately reinforcing her superiority in a subtle manner by ordering him to speak, and still framing it around "do not disappoint me, or there will be consequences."
Also, think of her phrasing of "closest thing to good company" she spouted, or the fact she didn't say "normally, I do," instead of "I do." Does that actually sound like a compliment when you think about it? Or... is it damning by faint praise? Why would her eye be twitching as she says that? Why does her phrasing feel calculated?
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He'd be considered the hero because of historical revisionism to erase or recontextualize the atrocities he's committed, or, from an even more cynical perspective, depending on how much she actually valued him and his loyal memory, it would be revised so she could scapegoat him for a large portion of the atrocities that occurred, because Nightmare Moon was forced to resort to someone as horrible as him, and she just hated it, but now that he's dead, they can have such stability and prosperity with the new empire she's built, isn't she so benevolent?
Who is he really the hero to? He cares about absolutely no one but Nightmare Moon, who, I repeat, tried to kill him to start out with, and there's multiple red flags otherwise. What good other than his own warped perspective is he serving?
That presumes it ever made any rational sense for him to start. Twilight objectively treated him better in less than an hour than Nightmare Moon was treating him several months in, and she had more to lose than Nightmare. The guy has something seriously wrong with him.
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Very good points.
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true your points are valid but remember he had a shit life after his parents died and literally became a criminal to survive OF COURSE THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIM!!! Of course he would side with the villain and fall in love with her and remain loyal. To him what NMM did was normal BECAUSE THAT IS ALL HE KNOWS regardless if young Twilight showed him genuine kindness, to him that was NOT normal. To HIM that was naivete because that was what HE learned at a young age. Sure it's wrong, but that is what happens when you have to turn criminal to survive it is human nature to do anything to survive when push comes to shove.
Also the way Luna talks to him and stutters to him, I believe some part of NMM actually loves him back, sadly it's the part he so hates right now. That being Luna herself. Believe or not NMM was a part of Luna but that also means Luna loved him back regardless how she treated him as NMM. But as established in my comment and the story Anon loved the part of Luna who was NMM not the part that is Luna
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It doesn't help that she is using Celestia excuse for her so she doesn't have face what happened. They don't have like either of them but they could as feel bad that he lost someone he loves. I don't like Trump but I would feel for his wife if she lost because I assume there must have been something there that I don't see for her to be with him. If they are going to keep going to him then they could at least feel bad that he lost someone he cared about even if they didn't like her. They could at least fake feeling bad if they are going keep going to him. Love is always strange and I don't know what happened between but he loved her and they expect him just to get over it because that what they want. Why don't they try seeing if they can find what he saw.
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Honestly I don't like either option. I thought we were going to get some complex 'duality of pony' stuff with both parties needing to accept different parts of the same truth about Nightmare Moon, and at this rate it seems like we're getting either a failure at morally grey character complexity or a copout.
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At least someone gets it. Is a little empathy too much to ask from these guys. For some reason the old saying the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Which exactly what everyone is doing to him. They must know by now that they haven't gotten anywhere trying to make forget nightmare and be happy like the rest of them but yet they keep going to him and expecting it to be different which each character. Trying faking caring about him . Try finding out what he saw in her.
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1.) Bold of you to assume they'd ask Nightmare Moon's monster for help.
2.) Naive of you to assume that's why she build the walls.
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The more I see of this story the more I see Anon as being deluded as Harley Quinn was before DC started trying to turn her into their Deadpool. Except Joker actually put in the effort to pretend to be nice to her from time to time.
So, that’s how it happened and we have RD to “thank” for it. On top of that, I’m guessing even the Thestrals weren’t that loyal in the first place. Kinda sad, innit? Great chapter, as per usual!
Pardon my language, but f*cking hell, there is a war going on in the comments. I didn’t expect this story to, apparently, to be so controversial to quite a few people. I, for one, am finding it great and love Anon’s character, but that’s just me.
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To reinforce that point, I find it rather disturbing that people have cheered Angel's death, for instance. Never mind the fact that underneath the spoiled attitude that reached memetic extremes in PYHD, he has shown a supportive side to Fluttershy (Hurricane Fluttershy, Ponyville Confidential), generally defaults to being a Jerk With a Heart of Gold (or "Silver" if you think that's too generous).
It's very self-evident that Fluttershy would feel emotional agony if you did a rather Chrysalis-tier act to someone who was supposed to be
murderedexecuted anyway, instead of letting her have one last kindness such as that, and even if he did deserve death, it's not like Anon had any good intentions for doing so, punishing him for being a dick. In fact, it seems way more likely he killed him for being a jerk because of what he was doing to Fluttershy. If he were that much of a dick, wouldn't it seem more likely Angel would've tried to run away, abandon Fluttershy?So yes, I admit it, I don't hate the rabbit, and even if I did, it still is horrifically unempathetic to Fluttershy to do that to her.
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Either that, or most of the loyalists are in mass graves. Considering the rating of the story and its length, we may never know.
I think the major reason for this is because it paints a muddy and unclear moral picture, containing only murky shades of gray viewed through the limited lens of an equally murky protagonist (in a very short wordcount at that).
This leads to people using their own moral compasses to figure out what's what and clear up the picture. Since everyone has a different moral compass, this leads to many varying interpretations.
... And because two people with different opinions can't get along, a flamewar inevitably begins.
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Unfortunately, very true.
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Fair enough, and I retract my joke about Angel's death.
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I have lost count of the comment replies I have started, realized were going way off into the weeds of politics/philosophy/etc, smelled the inevitable napalm, and deleted un-posted.
It's one of those stories, and I love that.
...well, judging by the way everyone else who benefitted from her reign (and you can’t tell me she didn’t find reasonably willing accomplices -- no iron-hooved regime maintains itself through the sheer evilness of a lone tyrant at the top while everyone else secretly supports the resistance) was willing to throw her under the bus the moment some “better” option looked likely to come along, that may well be true. I just don’t know that I’d consider that particularly a compliment to those ponies.
Say what you want about Nightmare Moon and Anon, but I think I’m justified in suspecting that there are more than just a few ponies who are all too willing to let those two alone serve as convenient scapegoats for the sins of quite a number of others as well.
I'm really enjoying this story. Anon is an unapologetic thug in the employ of an unapologetic tyrant. He hates the Mane 6 because they killed Nightmare, but does not act against them because it wouldn't help anything. I don't think he even blames them for rebelling. He's not even pursuing revenge against the one he sees as a traitor.
I'm really curious as to what is going to happen next. I don't really see him integrating into Equestria any time soon, he's not a good person on any level, and the ponies have every reason to hate him. But he would have a really hard time surviving in exile, and what else can he do?
Well, that's what real loyalty look like. No intimidation for conscription. Just pure love for her friends and fellow ponykinds.
This guy truly an irredeemable brainrot. Very amusing to read indeed. Nothing less of blasting rainbow laser could fix him.
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Honestly, it's easy to accept. Ponies are both prey animals and herd animals, after all. We get ape-brained sometimes, they get horse-brained.
Very compelling!
I like this story, it has an interesting premise and it has captured me from the start. The comments might be a dumpster fire but it's just comments, I look forward to seeing more, and have a nice day.